


Babe and Varro's Bogus Journey

by rivlee



Series: Journeys 'Verse [5]
Category: Band of Brothers, Spartacus Series (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-07
Updated: 2012-09-07
Packaged: 2017-11-13 18:46:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/506558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rivlee/pseuds/rivlee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Babe's just trying to get back to Philly. Part of Journeys ‘verse. Takes place right after chapter seven of <i>Doubtless There Are Other Roads</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Babe and Varro's Bogus Journey

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** This is all fiction based off the characters as portrayed in the Starz television series _Spartacus_ and HBO's _Band of Brothers_. No disrespect or harm is meant or intended. 
> 
> **A/N:** Unbeated ficlet time for the Babe lovers.
> 
>  **A/N Take Two (August 2015)** : I wrote this story long before I had really planned out Babe's own story. It doesn't really fit anymore, but I have a soft spot in my heart for it, so I'm going to leave it up. Consider it a slight alternate canon of an already alternate universe.

Babe Heffron didn’t know much about magic or realm jumping or breaking veils in space and time but he sure as hell knew what was Philly and what wasn’t. Wherever the hell they were right now, it wasn’t Front Street. Hell, he didn’t know if it was even Pennsylvania. It could be the Poconos, he guessed, but Babe never strayed that far north. 

He turned to his companion who was busy pacing the forest floor and consulting with the air.

“Varro, I hate to break it to you, but this ain’t Philadelphia.”

“No shit,” Varro said. He studied the sky. “I must’ve missed a portal after dropping those wizards off in D.C.”

“Can’t we just hop back into the portal and get to the right spot.”

Varro shrugged. “We could if this forest had a steady one.”

Babe looked around and saw nothing but normal trees and shit. “Let me guess. It don’t.”

“I’m not entirely sure how we even landed here. I asked one of the dryads but even wolves don’t come out here. Too many human campgrounds.”

“Problem solved then,” Babe said. “We just wait to stumble across some Boy or Girl Scouts, borrow their chaperone's cell phone, and get the fuck out of here.”

“It’s the middle of winter,” Varro said.

“I didn’t say it was a great plan,” Babe said. He looked around and could see lights not far off. They couldn’t be that far from the highway. “Look, unless you’ve got a better plan or can abracadabra us out of this shit, I say we go towards the lights there. I’d rather not act out my own personal Donner Party For Two.”

Varro’s laugh was quiet but amused. He cuffed Babe on the back of the head. “A good enough plan to see us through the night. I’d be the one to survive longer anyway; you’re lacking in bulk there my friend.”

“Hey, what are you, my grandmother? I might be learning how to do this Realm Jumping shit from you, badly, I might add, but that don’t give you no rights to go and talk like my Nana. I can’t help it if I’m not trying out for Mr. Universe like you.”

Varro patted his shoulder. “Your build will help for many missions. You’re very unassuming even if a quarter of your weight is carried in your nose.”

“I will tell the first cop we run into that you kidnapped me,” Babe threatened. He wasn’t really insulted. Varro was the joking type and just like Bill, his mouth got away from him.  
Thank god for long-standing tourism because it only took them an hour to find a B&B. Babe was really fucking grateful for Eddie’s coat and it helping him with the whole not-dead thing. He had a nasty feeling Gene would find a way to cross the Divide and curse out Babe’s ghostly soul or some shit. 

Varro, the fucker, didn’t even look tired. 

“I hate you right now,” Babe said.

“On this side of the Divide I live in New England. Despite the fact that I have about four centuries on you and remember the time before indoor heating, castles are fucking cold, Babe.”

Babe just shook his head and knocked on the door.

“Let me do the talking, okay? You sound like you just got booted out of a Renaissance Festival.”

“I, what, fuck you, I do not.”

“Hey, fairy dust, watch the language,” Babe chastised. “We got to look respectable for these people.”

“You, respectable,” Varro scoffed. 

“I got twelve years of Catholic School and too many years as an altar boy at my use. Your wife is a _wolf_ and you got this gig from your gambling debts. Just stay behind me and don’t say shit unless you’re asked.”

“I have done this before,” Varro said. “I did this before the English invaded this godsforsaken place.”

“Nobody likes a smartass, Varro.”

“Then you admit to having no friends.”

Babe glared at him and pushed the doorbell. This would be a hell of a story to spin.


End file.
